Re-Post, for your entertainment

I originally posted this over 3 years ago. But I can remember it like it was yesterday. Also, take note, this is pre-Norwex. 🙂

ShamWOW

Don’t put your Shamwow in the dryer.  How do I know this?  Where do I begin…

It all started a few years ago when I realized Brian’s thing is  reading instructions.  Just like Ross’s thing is divorcing and Chandler’s thing is being funny, Brian’s thing is reading the instructions for any new device.  Or in this case, any new towel.  I should also mention that my thing is typically destruction.  I spill, drop, tear, or break things on a regular basis.

Now, when you combine these two truths about us, you have the potential for a cosmic explosion.  And an explosion we had!

Over the weekend while we were babysitting for the girls who live upstairs, Brian (not me!) spilled my full glass of water on the carpet and partially under the sofa.  Rather than going through countless paper towels, I asked Brian to run downstairs and get our Shamwow.  Worked like a charm.  A few days ago I was working at my table and spilled my cup of water (which had a lid on it but I still somehow managed to spill the whole thing).  Naturally, I reached for the Shamwow.  After drying the table, carpet, and remote (and part of the bunny who was sleeping under said table), naturally I threw it in the dryer.

This is where it gets good.  Later that day, we were in the car on the way to pick up a movie for our date night and I shared the anecdote about my spillage and use of the Shamwow… and my use of the dryer.  I think I’ll switch to script format here.

Brian: YOU WHAT!?

Becca: I put the Shamwow in the dryer. WHAT? WHY!?

Brian: [devilish smile and loud booming voice] AH HA!  I KNEW you would break the Shamwow!  You’re not supposed to do that!  You didn’t read the instructions did you!?

Becca: [arms crossed, scowled eyebrows] You foiled me on purpose!  You threw the instructions away before I could read them!  You intentionally set me up for this!

Brian: [still has a devilish look on his face] I didn’t throw them away!  Didn’t you see them under the sink stuck between the box of Brita filters and garbage bags!?

Becca: [finger wagging and pointing] You DID do this on purpose!  We’re supposed to be a team!  I can’t believe this!  Look at you, you’re so happy!!!

Brian: [fist pumps] Well maybe next time you should read the instructions!

Becca: [arms crossed again, looking out the window]  They should put it in the commercial.  I pay attention to commercials and the commercial says you just throw it in the wash when it’s dirty!  So… I assumed it meant the wash and dry cycle.  …No wonder it looks funny now.

Brian: [Becca and Brian get out of their car, walk towards the door of the video store]  Ha ha.  Now you can’t make fun of me for reading the instructions any more!  And you have to blog about this!…

[Becca and Brian open the store door and cross the threshold; Becca gives the hand slide across the throat indicating he should shut up or die.]

Becca: What should we rent?

*Side note, we purchased a new set of Shamwows at WalMart tonight.

home again

well, for now.

we got back from central america on saturday night and spent the evening with friends while a tremendous storm blew through. it was a great segue back into “life”. i’m going to have to order some more pages for my passport soon. i think there is one more quadrant on a random page that is free. six years of travels! sheesh.

i had to work in winston and greensboro monday and tuesday so we just got back from that quick trip this afternoon. and we leave for the beach on holidays with the in-laws on saturday.

i officially have an ear infection. memories of my elementary school days are flooding back. i even remember being held down on a table by at least 4 doctors and nurses while they attempted to remove the tubes from my ears. the papoose was not strong enough for me.

i don’t think my house has ever been this chaotic with piles of crap everywhere. including the day we moved in. but i’m not even looking at it until tomorrow. i’m am just so tired.

so. tired.

i just need a few nights of solid 8-hour sleeps.

and maybe a nap or two each day. by the pool.

it’s friday

(Now that song is in your head. You’re welcome.)

I kept meaning to blog this week but ran out of steam/time everyday. My apologies. We’ve had a full week. I’m going to work my way backwards, if that’s okay with you.

Today I had an awesome run.

It was a 45 mi run: 5 blue, 35 green, 5 blue; plus some extra because I decided to run a loop rather than double back. I’m so unpredictable. I don’t even know what the heck I’m going to do until I get to a corner and have to turn left or right.

But anyway, I had a great run. I feel like running in the morning has been challenging for me, feeling empty if it was a fasting run or feeling heavy/tasting breakfast if I ate something first. Today all I had were 3 Clif Bar shot bloks and a few chugs of water. I didn’t realize it until now, but they have caffeine from green tea (I probably wouldn’t have chosen to use them had I realized it… thought it was just a bunch of sugar). They tasted good and I felt great on my run, probably due in part to them.

I did the 4.8ish mile loop in just under an hour and mostly in the green zone (i.e. slower pace). I’m wondering how tomorrow’s run will compare since it will be half green, half yellow.

I also learned some new things about the miCoach app today! If you love seeing a graph and breaking down your run, I think you should definitely give this app a try. Check out the additional notes (shown for my red zone, available for the others as well):

I ran all the way back up the steep hill, trying to maintain <12:00 mile, which naturally put me in the red zone for over 5 min. But I conquered that beast and still felt good.

Compared to last Friday’s run (slightly longer loop):

I also learned that miCoach keeps track of any songs you play (through your music player, not Pandora)! Brilliant! Not brilliant: Britney Spears feat. the Ying Yang Twins somehow always cycles through. Must remove from playlist.

I also added my new shoes to my list so they’re ready for me when I decide to take them out for a spin.

See that middle box? I made that up, I haven’t run 200 miles on a pair of shoes nicknamed BOOM. Just wanted to show you what your shoe boxes look like if you choose an Adidas brand (vs New Balance and Reebok that I have). Neat.

This week’s runs were pretty good. I think I got sprinkled on by various sprinklers at least thrice. It was nice. We leave one week from today for Panama and Guatemala for 16 days and I highly doubt I’ll be able to run there. So I’m kind of bummed and don’t want to loose any stamina I’ve built up. Just crossing my fingers that our hotel in Guatemala has a decent gym with a treadmill since, being the blonde chick that I am, I will not be running on the street alone in either country.

Yesterday I met my seester at some outlets and enjoyed a hot afternoon walking around shopping.

Wednesday was the Fourth and it was fun! We hung out with some friends, had too many watermelon cookies, ate delicious pasta for dinner, and watched some fireworks in our neighborhood. It was quite good!

Nothing happened Tuesday.

But on Monday I got to meet our new nephew, Mordecai!!!

He’s just a bundle of cuteness. So sweet and content.

Uncle Bribri is a natural.

Seriously. Does it get any cuter? He didn’t cry once.

We also hung out with Mordie’s older brother Malachi.

This little punkin head snuggled up to me while we were watching some educational cartoon that I can’t remember the name of and you probably wouldn’t know. He’s a keeper. 🙂

Since we’re leaving in a week, it’s time for me to start the annual gathering of all things mini or trial-size. New to this year’s lineup (thanks to various germaphobic friends and news segments): a small bottle of mattress cleaner.

Perhaps I’ll do an entire post on how to pack for an international soccer tour for those who don’t play soccer but have to go. No one’s blogged about that before, right?

high fiving a million angels!

I am so stoked right now!

I just signed up to do the Color Run! I am SO EXCITED! I was going to do it regardless of who else was going, but it’s going to be even more spectacular because so many of my friends are doing it! I debated not announcing it on here for fear of it filling up before we could all get signed up. But then I realized that even if all 12 of you signed up right away, there would still be slots left. So have at it. And in case you’re wondering what the Color Run is, check out this video.

I’ve been doing about a 5k every time I’ve gone running lately, but some runs are better than others. This last week or so they’ve been on the slow end. The heat and humidity are really zapping me. I’ve been tempted before, but today was the first day I actually ran through some sprinklers. 😉 When I’m feeling good and still have energy, I like to high five the low-hanging branches of trees as I’m running by.

And pretend that I’m Liz Lemon.

Since I was at my parents’ house on Saturday, I decided to run around the lake that I visited so frequently growing up.

It was perfect weather, nice and cool. And it brought back so many mems. I love this place.

This week I’m looking forward to a “cold front” moving through and snapping the humidity. Now it’s time to start putting my outfit together for the Color Run. I already know what top I’m wearing…

we’re through, Pandora.

I about had it out with Pandora today. She keeps doing this thing where she cuts out a song right in the middle to go to a commercial. Ok, that’s fine, if it’s a song I don’t like. I don’t pay for it, so there have to be ads.

But today I had this in front of me:

So I was pumping my jam while folding laundry. Really, what else can one enjoy while folding laundry? (If you have other ideas, do tell.)

Here’s my jam. (Previously thumbs-up’d so it would ideally play more often.) She finally got to it after about 10 back-to-back Pit Bull and Usher songs. She dangled it in front of me and then BAM! Commercial. Didn’t even get to the bridge… Before you came into my life I missed you so bad. (Such good logic.)

I got mad and yelled at her (waking the bunny) and told her we’re through. Then she responded with this:

Really Pandora? Trying to butter me up with your wily devices?

Fine.

We’re not broken up anymore.

meh

Today has been a blah-feeling sort of day. It took a while for me to get my butt moving and go for a run this morning. I used Lola as an excuse for a while, letting her out to play for an hour. She was being extra cute. She even tried to escape and ended up jumping into a big box and startling herself. I had a good laugh.

She often gives me this look, like she’s waiting for me to bring her a dried apricot or banana (her favorite treats) and/or bring her Bribri so she can do the love dance around his feet. I often respond by reminding her that I own her and her box that she lives in.

But she just did a lot of this after she realized she couldn’t escape the den.

And I imagine this is what she was thinking.

Anyway, I eventually got my butt in gear and went out for an easy 30 minute run: 5 min blue, 20 min green, 5 min blue. About 7 minutes into it, at the bottom of the giant hill, I was hit with a wall of mist. It kind of unnerved me at first (thank you Hunger Games), but it also felt nice (once I realized it wasn’t coming from a living being nor poisonous), like running through the mist machines at Coke World. It did that a few more times on my run, but never actually rained on me. Good thing, too, because there’s no way I could sprint back up that hill and make it to safety before my iPhone got destroyed by a downpour.

There is an intersection along the route that I ran today and I always choose a different way to go. Well, being in the funk that I was, I still hadn’t decided which way I wanted to run (it’s a giant loop, so really it doesn’t matter) when I arrived. But then I saw something run by and I had to follow to make sure I actually saw what I thought I saw.

It took me a few minutes to catch up while maintaining my green zone so I really wasn’t sure what I saw. Yup! It was a gray-haired lady running! (Yes, I’m creepy, but I had to take a quick pic for proof.) I was so impressed and inspired, it made it worth the run today!

And, as you can see, my heart rate monitor flat-lined me again! I don’t think the hr monitor reconnected after I paused the app to take the picture… I’m going to email Adidas about this. And I actually expect a prompt and helpful response. Brimuscle has had great experiences with their tech support over the past couple of years so I’m not too worried.

When I was headed home and back up the hill, this nice girl ran by me, headed up the hill too. At this point I was just jogging, not necessarily trying to get home quickly. But she was going faster and made it look easy. So I thought I’d try to keep pace with her. Oh boy. She was running a sub-9:30 min/mile UP the hill. I’m doing good when I keep it around 12:00. I made it about half way before I thought I was going to pass out. It was fun, though, being secretly competitive. And when I got to the straight-away where the road leveled out, I booked it (she was long gone at this point).

See that 6:13? That’s how fast I was running. Sub 7:00min/mile! Granted it was only for about 30 seconds. And see that 185? That was my heart rate. Pretty sure it was a few beats away from exploding. It’s surprising how I can maintain a 179-180 bpm, but jumping to 183-185 bmp is killer. (Definitely hyperbolically, probably literally.)

You know what is a self-esteem booster? When you walk in the door from running and your husband asks if it was raining. Nope.

Arnold Palmer, on the rocks

Today’s run was my long one: 5 min blue, 35 min green, 5 min blue. I ended up running for just over an hour, though. I was actually looking forward to this run because I’ve found a route that I enjoy and I tend to feel better the longer I go. I was even more excited when Brimuscle said he would run with me today! We ran a slightly different loop than I normally do because I wanted to be sure I made it past the 5 mile mark without having to double up somewhere.

I discovered a few new things on the micoach website today. If you drag the blue slider left to right, it gives you the break down of all your stats for that exact second. I was watching the calories-burned numbers and noticed they ticked by much faster the higher my heart rate was. (Duh.) So, obviously, if you’re trying to burn calories, you need to work harder. I’ve been guilty of just taking it easy on the elliptical or zoning out on the dreadmill. You gotta put in the effort if you want to see change. (I’m saying this as much to myself as I am to whoever is taking the time to read this.)

I also discovered I can name my routes and save them. See the compass symbol in the top right of that window? I liked today’s route so I saved it and named it Arnold Palmer. It’s one of my favorite drinks and I heard he was a good golfer. 😉

After we got back I plopped down on the ground and stretched for a few minutes. This picture does not do the rosie-ness of my cheeks justice. Seriously, I looked like I’d used beet juice as sunscreen.

I’m thinking I need to go to the chiropractor soon. It’s been over a year since my last visit and I’m pretty sure my hips are out of place again. I lean more on my left side and my left knee has been aching. When my hips (which go out easily, apparently) are out, it also makes the muscles in my neck tense so I’m prone to headaches. Yep, I’ll be making that appointment soon.

In other news, I found a video that you have to watch. Even if you hate the song, you have to watch. 🙂 I’ve watched it at least 10 times today.

My favorite is the .25second clip of Obama with school kids saying “Hey!” 🙂

And here’s the original in cased you missed it:

confessions.

1. I am wearing my saggy butt sweat pants and loving it. Bri-son Kressley hates them. [Hi Brian!]

2. I don’t hate Justin Bieber any more.

3. As soon as I got home from dropping Bribri off at the airport yesterday, I came home and watched Never Say Never. And teared up.

4. At that Ginna girl’s place last night we listened to the Beeb’s Pandora station. And I liked it.

5. I like getting up early. By early, I mean before 6:00. I get so much done before 8:00am!

6. I like Justin Bieber. =-O

conversing with the toddler

I went into the den to check on the toddler and walked smack into a wall of stink.

Me: “Phew! What is that smell?”
the toddler: “Don’t know.”
Me: “Did you poop?”
the toddler: “no, Yeyeah did.”
Me: “Are you sure that wasn’t you who pooped?”
the toddler: “No. Yeyeah tried to.”
Me: “I don’t think Henrietta has that orifice.”
the toddler: “Yeah! Yeyeah has oof!”

Yeyeah is how she pronounces Henrietta. It took me a while to figure out what she was saying the first day I met Henrietta. This is Henrietta:

All I could do was chuckle. And find the nearest pile of diapers.

It’s Friday and I’ll probably go to bed at 8:30.

 

It’s been a crazy week. Lots of early mornings. Most before 5:30, one before 5:00. Lots of toddler-related things. Including finding the Toddler Pandora station. Love it.

I really like these foam building blocks because they don’t do much damage when they inevitably end up being thrown 90 mph and don’t hurt when you step on them. But to get them all back in their bag you have to have an engineering degree from MIT. No joke.

(It’s a little sad when a 2.5-year-old can almost wear your shoes.)

Everything is wet. Face, nose, hands, feet, neck. Best surprise: when you get a wet high 5.

 

 

 

 

 

Lots of funny shaped hotdogs. I decided I like the thought of eating a hotdog but will avoid actually eating one at all costs. It just doesn’t feel good in my tummy.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The weather went from warm and muggy to clear and cold. And back again. Now we’re in the freezing zone. I’m hoping we get to see snow at least once this winter.

 

 

 

 

 

Lots of mugs of warm drinks. Mostly coffee. And my favorite new headband. Seriously, I ordered 2 more for myself after my bff got me this one for Christmas. It’s a BIC band. They don’t slip, don’t damage your hair, and they’re for a great cause.

 

 

 

 

 

Also, did you know wearing cardigans backwards is a thing now? The toddler may be onto something…

It really has been a great week. I’m just pooped. And I really did want to be in bed 8 minutes ago. But I’m at the in-laws and shouldn’t be antisocial. Plus, they have an awesome fire going, so I’ll go enjoy that for a bit with some crocheting… 🙂