subtitles, please.

Have you ever wished certain people came equipped with subtitles? Maybe you couldn’t understand them because you’re in another country or because their first language isn’t English. Well, I’ve been in Rutherford, NC for the past few days and have wished I had a virtual subtitle projection machine. R’s are taken out of some words, sprinkled into others, and you just have to hope you can discern at least 80% of the sentence that was just spoken in order to keep up with the conversation. Or just nod and smile.

That’s another thing. Even when people are complaining, like my friend Michelle astutely noticed, they are using positive terms and smiling.

I’ll give you a few examples that I’ve heard these past few days (and wish that I could share some pictures of the mullets and general “fashion” we’ve come upon.

We were in the drive through at Bojangle’s for lunch, along with all of the good Southern Baptists in their suits and dresses whose preachers had obviously talked for way too long, and decided to get back in the car and go through the drive through because of said crowd. Usually the customer has difficulty understanding the voice coming through the box, but not today. Today our ‘waitress’ could not understand my brother and took a few “cajun filet combo” repetitions.

Geneva becomes Genever.

Hollow becomes Hollar.

“Bless her heart, she’s uglier than sin.”

“Well I’ll be John Brown.” Sometimes “had a little indian” is added to the end of that sentence. I’m pretty sure it’s a racist remark and definitely not pc.

Also, I have noticed, visiting is very important. At least 3 times, people have been over for a visit, stood up to leave, and were still chatting, their hand on the open door, 15 minutes later. So when I do that to you, you know where I get it.


One thought on “subtitles, please.

  1. Pingback: is it supper or dinner? | fowlerama

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